Local platonic valentine

Honestly, just another Tuesday with K. Alaia and BK value menu items, leftover Del Taco, frozen taquitos, and Shasta. Haha.

Long-distance valentine

“Thank you so much for the flowers, I was so surprised. No ones ever gotten me flowers before! :) Omg I want to hug you.”

Destined for greatness/failure

We all want to be admired in some way or another. Sub-thoughts and points regarding the topic jumbled in my mind; selfishness, self-glorification, motives for doing certain things, self-worth, just a lot of self -- even in selflessness. Art and intelligence and eloquence and blog entries and work and possessions and missions trips and ministries and hearts and halves. And have-nots. Sorry, this is impossible to follow, foggy in my head, even worse on paper/keyboards/computer monitors, but I (kind of and don't) understand. Just a little more observant, a little too judgemental lately.

I honestly don't remember a non-cynical me.

Endless talks with Katrina lately consisting of just about every type of relational situation and this is me coming to grips with the fact that I might not be cut out for ANY such situation, even the superficial and unmeaningful ones. And I've always had this idea of myself in my mind: self-less and romantic and considerate and hopeful and chivalrous, and maybe I was once, or maybe it was just wishful thinking, or some kind of arrogance. Seems lately my only goal is to be less of a prick -- and I'm failing at it.

What is this broken-ness anyway? It isn't as if anything substantial or devestating has happened to me particularly. As of late though, mind has been blown over processing the ideals of friendships and love and the ending or struggles of both. And forgiveness. And maybe Katrina's right and I'm just really empathetic.

And as much as I am cynical, or how I rant of loss of faith in people and love, and my own fears of being able to cope in certain situations, and this constant sense of discouragement -- Do I have a genuine hope that that isn't always the case? That there exists an unconditional love even in human relationships, with one another?

I really do.

And I'm scared that that'll either make me indescribably happy in the end or shatter me completely.

We usually know what decisions we should make

And most of us do whatever the opposite of that decision is because I think, in the moment, it makes us feel better even if in the end, it might not have been the right choice. There’s always this need to distract ourselves from whatever is worrying us, depressing us, hurting us, pissing us off.

Anyway, this is an apology to my lungs. Again.

Moments

These past few weeks consisting of sporadic periods of time each filled with indescribable happiness, a consistent sense of hopelessness in human relationships, incredible bitterness and anger, heart-crushing conviction, indifference, gut-wrenching honesty, guilt-less half-truths, endless and infinite confusion regarding every aspect of everything.

(Il)logical solution equals flavored-smoke-filled lungs and perfectly executed rings.

“These days I just can’t seem to say what I mean. I just can’t. Every time I try to say something, it misses the point. Either that or I end up saying the opposite of what I mean. The more I try to get it right the more mixed up it gets. Sometimes I can’t even remember what I was trying to say in the first place. It’s like my body’s split in two and one of me is chasing the other me around a big pillar. We’re running circles around it. The other me has the right words, but I can never catch her.”

-Haruki Murakami, excerpt from Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman

hope/less

Love. I believe in it less and less. Even good people in love do some messed up ish. And I'm pretty much scum, so yeah, bad situation.

Mac and Devin go to high school

That Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa album is so freakin' chill, man. I really love it's musicality, but wish that it's lyrical content contained more than just their affinity for marijuana and getting high.

Nevertheless, album is on repeat. Haha.

AFG Missionaries 2011 by EZ Nadua

Just blessed to be a part of God's work and to fellowship with his servants.

Andreaaaaa

lustconquerslove:

hendriiix:

lustconquerslove:

It was a happy day.

Shooting this beauty sometime next month if time/fate allows. Please fate, allow. Haha.

So sweeeeet! It will happen.

Fingers crossed. We’ll talk about it in more detail soon. :)

Heart hurts

Taking it out on my lungs.

Christmas Eve festivities

Adrian, Mike, Led, Sarah, K, Henry, Dan, Pastor Kris, AJ, Liz, Kevin. And I'm not a huge fan of big groups, but when partnered with tri-tip roast & avocado tortas and 12 hours of The Lord of the Rings Extended Special Editions in glorious Blu-ray, I'm much more inclined to make an exception.

Christmas Eve with the Tuasons until having to get to my family party was an added bonus.

Family party confessional at the "kids" table;

Cousin: "... So he was pissed that I had slept with his fiancé..."

---

Me: "Okay, well, I'm going to get some more prime rib but feel free to finish this story without me, haha." *Leaves table, and comes back two minutes later...

---

Everyone At Table: "Hendrix, you missed the best part! Listen to the end of the story!"

---

Me: "Fine, fine. Go on."

---

Cousin: "Where was I?"

---

Me: "You were at the part where you slept with the guy's fiancé or something." *At this point, I was looking down and cutting my food.

---

Cousin: "You slept with WHO? How could you??" *While looking/blaming my little cousin. I was very confused. Everyone breaks into laughter.

Apparently my Aunt walked in just as I said, "You were at the part where you slept with the guy's fiancé or something." She heard what I said, paused and walked away and I never even saw.

Merry Christmas, all.

All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be King.

-J.R.R. Tolkien

The movie in my mind will be the winner at cannes

Sometimes I feel like my life is a film. But who in their right mind would ever watch a movie as uninteresting as this one. Maybe I'll rob a bank or overdose on drugs or something else self-destructive just to make sure you get your money's worth. I'll tell you one thing though, the soundtrack is awesome, but no one really watches movies for the music.

Except for in musicals.

Sideways moving skyscrapers

Commutes to and from LA used to consist of newspapers and books, now they're iPads and headphones.

Watching out the window and quietly basking in the view of the bright lights and raindrops flying away from me as this train passes. Music video-directing in my mind; listening to Michael Giacchino's "There's No Place Like Home" from the LOST soundtrack on repeat and becoming an emotional wreck and tearing up like a crazy person for some reason. I don't know, I think

I should be happier than this.

yts

I'll be honest. I'm not into her, but she's fun, she's funny, she's adorably cute, she's talented, she's intelligent. Our tastes and interests are very different in a lot of ways, but similar in some. We have fun and even have meaningful conversations when we're together, and I can tell that she enjoys it too. But even though she's the one that calls/texts/tweets me, I can't get over the feeling that she doesn't want to. Actually enjoy time with me, I mean. Like she'd rather be with someone hipper, hotter, or, something-er. It makes me sad because even though it's more noticeable with her,

I can't help but feel that this is who I'll be to everyone, forever.

#randombestmoments

When the train hasnt fully stopped but people are already walking toward the exit; Haha it's like watching old men in business suits auditioning for the role of Captain Jack Sparrow.

allen stone @ the galaxy theater

Picked up Nessa, and got to witness the amazingly soulful Allen Stone perform live for the second time in my life. I think it's incredible how popular this man is getting. From seeing him earlier this year in a barely occupied Hotel Cafe to watching him on Conan O'Brien, and now at sold-out venues. He's an incredibly talented entertainer and a hard worker and I'm glad for his success. Anyway, it was a good night.

Best part: When Allen Stone retweeted Nessa and she turned into a crazy fangirl lunatic. THE BEST. Haha.

the fellowship of the nerd

On Nov 29, 2011, at 10:11 AM, Mike Tecson wrote:

Hi Guys,
Is there a friday night on December 23? If not, are you guys down for having our marathon that day? If yes, can you please cancel it? haha!!!!

Schedule:

3pm - 6pm: Fellowship of the Ring

6pm - 8pm: Led and Hendrix arrive, we have dinner
8pm - 11pm: The Two Towers
11pm - 11:30pm: Coffee & Break
11:30pm - 2:30am: The Return of the King

What do you guys think?!!

I'm sooo excited!

On Nov 29, 2011 at 10:40 AM, Kristopher Saliba wrote:

There's no Friday night. It's been cancelled in favor of the fight for Middle Earth.

mindless commercialism aka my christmas wishlist

01. A large map of Lord of the Rings’ Middle Earth for my wall.
02. iTunes gift card so I can buy the Ouran High School Host Club series.
03. A rice cooker for the apartment.
04. Almost anything from the Photojojo.com store. Esp the gift card.
05. Starbucks cards/mugs/food.
06. Anything with polar bears or jellyfish.
07. Personalized anything.

08. A trip to New Orleans.