"Nerds getting ridiculed for not getting laid… I always thought there’s something so fault in our culture, the idea that if someone doesn’t experience their life like — okay, so if sex is not the objective and they want to play Dungeon and Dragons, I would argue that Dungeons and Dragons is a more either fulfilling or interesting, engaging, and intellectually beneficial way to spend your time than pursuing meaningless sex by far."

-Dov Davidoff on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes podcast

blurbs

I have undiagnosed OCD and ADD and/or ADHD. I don’t say the words “I love you” enough or at all. I hear lots of insincere “I miss you’s” though. Or maybe they are genuine but I just don’t see them that way. I need more sun. And walks and/or hikes. I need to take more photos. I want more tattoos. I want inspiration and happiness and I need to appreciate more often. I really really really want to believe in the God I grew up with. Anyway, just thoughts.

Broods - Four Walls

I wanna make you feel how I feel when I’m listening to love songs
I wanna take you to the peak of everything that you are
You’re everything I need tonight

And I’m trying hard to make you want me
But I don’t wanna try too hard
I was thinking you got what you came for

But you’re here now

WCW everyday

She can be wild and crazy and I probably can’t hang. But then again, maybe that’s exactly what I need/want in life. (I say that as if I’ll ever really have her.) Whatever, I’m a dreamer.

She makes my life

#sywedding2014

Attended the wedding of one of my closest friends last night. Weddings feel so different when it’s someone you’ve known and loved since childhood. Like you’ve known them so long and you finally get to see them ultimately be with and plan futures with the person that makes them happiest — and it’s like that happiness extends to you. It’s a good feeling. Wishing them all the best.

God damn.

She's a beaut and I'm glad she's in my life again. | theharajukumermaid.tumblr.com

*photos not by me

"You have to find the right distance between people. Too close, and they overwhelm you. Too far, and they abandon you."

- Hanif Kureishi

I'm usually the overwhelmer or the abandoned.

Beyond blue dream

Even though I'm technically officially medicating with an indica strain for my insomnia and anxiety, I bought a strain of sativa because I wanted a more contemplative/euphoric high for when I wasn't going to bed. I've smoked Blue Dream multiple times over the years but apparently the 1/8th of medical-grade Blue Dream I picked up this time was incredibly potent -- although the body high felt amazing, the paranoia and the feeling of actually having the task of remembering to breathe seriously fucked me up. I ultimately ended up forcing myself to sleep anyway just so I wouldn't have to think about it. Haha, geez. | Taken with my iPhone 5.

This made me smile

Outside the Standard Hotel, Downtown LA. | Taken with my iPhone 5.

"Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong, it just means that you value your relationship more than your ego."

-Unknown.

Closer to the truth, further from the sky

It's hard enough to attempt to love people that I see everyday -- I probably shouldn't finish the rest of this goddamn thought.  

Tumblr photography

There is just so much beautiful imagery on Tumblr it's ridiculous. Although this blog is where I primarily choose to share my thoughts and my own personal photography, browsing my Tumblr feed and seeing the immense talent and captured beauty and obscure perspectives and absolute love and appreciation for photos and photographers -- truly inspires.

Oh, high.

Medication | Taken with my Fujifilm X20.

“O Captain! My Captain! Rise up and hear the bells. Rise up, for you the flag is flung, for you the bugle trills.”

-In memory of Robin Williams, R.I.P.

Social Networking Woes

All Facebook does is remind me that Kari-Anne’s baby is hella fucking cute. Self-loathing and loneliness calls for wine and Ferrero Rochers. But that’s also my reward for self-loving, so idk.

Discouragement Blog

Haha, this blog (my previous blog – hashtags and ampersands) was supposed to help me delve deeper into the positive and optimistic aspects of my life and way of thinking, but all it’s really doing is revealing more and more the cynical, jaded, and realist side of me — so we’ll just go with that from now on instead of isolating certain ideas into “good thoughts” and “bad thoughts” categories. Hoping that my life inspires writing that IS hopeful and happy, but ultimately I just want to write, as genuinely as possible, because honestly, who’s going to read and reflect on this drivel except for me.

SF/Santa Barbara Shenanigans

Had an amazing getaway from Los Angeles: SF consisted of scenic road trips, puppies (Winston), pork bellies, airBnB, long walks, bridges, bars, Bart, sharing tables/conversation at La Boulange with a nice older lady, and hilariously getting drunk off sangria with the sis and bro-in-law. Part one of SB consisted of train rides, beaches, downtowns, more pork bellies (plus other amazing foods), more bars, more long walks, wine tastings, photography, relaxation, reflection, and one Tinder meet up with a gorgeous young lady named Alexandra, then getting high off weed (and oxygen) on my balcony while conversing about everything and nothing in particular. My one regret was not hooking up with her when I definitely could’ve (as proven by text messages afterward, haha.) Part two with Katrina, Daniel, and Bic was incredibly wholesome yet equally as fun, filled with inside jokes, selfies, and laughter. It was a good vacation. | Taken with my Fujifilm X20.