sad smiles; we're all fakes

feeling so tired of everyone around me. everything's pretty harrowing currently, and putting total confidence in an individual isn't the same if it isn't reciprocated which is why i haven't as of late. i've always felt like there were certain people that i could turn to, but gradually understanding that that really isn't always the case. for some reason, we're all incapable of spilling our guts, of opening ourselves up. making inane small talk on long drives, walking past each other in hallways, nodding glassy-eyed; what a sad state. as always, wanting to type "leaving it all in His hands", but have you ever reiterated that to yourself so many times that it gets to the point of saying it just to get through the day? i know God is good and i trust in His promises, but i'm still praying inten(t/se)ly that my head and heart are nothing less than genuine.

am i the only one who feels this way